Rachel Rutherford

It was June 2020 that mum started complaining of bloating in her stomach. We had a curry for dinner so we thought it could be that. When the feeling persisted, she decided to go to the doctors. With covid still being an issue, the doctors weren’t keen to see her. She was fobbed off with gaviscon numerous times and told no further investigations were needed. This was the start of her battle and she wasn’t giving up. Considering her blood tests had always been good, we could never predict what was to come. In October 2020 the doctor called her up to the surgery to tell her a scan showed a mass on her pancreas. The first thing she asked was “what will I tell my children?”.

6 rounds of chemo and an operation was her treatment plan. If only things were as simple as that. It was January 2021 before she started her first gruelling chemo. She suffered every single side effect and ended up in hospital with life threatening sepsis in March 2021.

We finally got her home 4 weeks later. The chemo had caused so much damage to her that she was diagnosed with broken heart syndrome. Something that is caused by trauma and stress on your body. 2 months later her heart had fully repaired. She never ceased to amaze us.

July came round and she was put on chemo number 2 which wasn’t as aggressive. Her scan results showed it hadn’t worked but the tumour hadn’t spread. Plan C was put in place. 2 weeks at the Beatson for radiotherapy in December 2021. Although getting the treatment was a bit more of a palava than she first thought she handled the side effects better.

All was well, the radiotherapy had done what they had intended it to do and the plan was to leave mum be. Let her enjoy her life and that she did. She picked up a serious bowel infection along with a stomach ulcer in April. During her hospital stay tests indicated that things were changing and in May she was offered more chemo. Her last chance. "I’ll do anything" she said. All she wanted was more time with us. 2 rounds she managed before she picked up sepsis again 3 months ago. Another 3 weeks in hospital before we got her home. She planned to restart her chemo but it wasn't to be.

Our wonderful mum put up a heroic fight. Most people don't know half the things she went through but it's important that they do. You would never catch mum feeling sorry for herself or asking why me? We told her she was brave, she said she had no choice but that's not true. To put yourself through all this treatment knowing just how bad the side effects can be is brave. So many people described mum as stoic and that she was. A fighter to the very end.

I know she touched so many lives but we were the lucky ones that got to call her mum and we couldn't be prouder. The most gentle, beautiful soul taken far too soon from us. Hopefully we can continue her legacy by raising awareness and support for this awful disease. Without this charity we would have been very lost over the past 2 years.