Helen Hyde

In memory of our precious Momma. 16 months has passed since loosing Momma, a heart wrenching, stomach churning pain I could never put into words.

Nov 2019 Momma turned 60, we spoiled her rotten and had THE best day. A doctors visit to check out a niggle in her right side, blood tests resulted in raised CA-125 markers, typically for ovarian cancer. An urgent Hysteroscopy resulted in acute pain in her back. CT scan to investigate the markers being raised. That took place 3 days before Christmas. We were told not to worry and enjoy Christmas, as we sat there in Christmas jumpers unbeknown what was ahead of us. Christmas 2019, was nothing short of a Hallmark Christmas, simply perfect in every way… it was like we knew it our last…but we didn’t yet!

Countless scans, investigations lead us to January 30th…Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer which had spread to her liver. A heart wrenching prognosis of 6-9 months! NO NO NO! Mommas words.

Momma endured awful chemo, started on Feb 14th, by the 16th she was in hospital for two weeks with an infection resulting in no immune system; highly dangerous alongside a catalogue of other complications. A cocktail of pills to combat sickness, pain and a multitude of other things. It was like; her body had a green light from diagnosis to go full steam ahead and the cancer was ravaging her. The decline was insane, everything escalated rapidly. She fought and fought through the chemo, always having hope she would defy the consultants prognosis and outlive it. Despite our hope, we sat and planned her funeral and I helped get her affairs in order. As a daughter, I knew that day would come, but not yet, it was far too soon. We spoke about everything, what she wanted us to wear (something purple, the colour of pan can) she wanted horses as she never fulfilled her dream of riding bareback on a beach. It was crushing to go through it, but with everything we did, we made light of it with a laugh. (Of course we did)

Come April, it was time for another CT scan to see if what little chemo she’d manage to get through had worked to shrink the tumour in the pancreas and the many in her liver… NO… IT HADN'T! The cancer was taking over and taking my precious Momma away from us. By the end of May Momma had had enough, we decided to not carry on with the chemo. It was now about quality of life over quantity. We knew time was running out. Cancer was winning. In June we had what would be our last family BBQ at ours, the girls rallied round her making sure she was comfy, ice lollies to soothe her mouth. It was yet again, a perfect day. Unbeknown it being the last time Momma would be at our house. By the end of June, things took a huge turn for the worst. Medication increased to combat the pain, delirium kicked in, she was slipping away. The start of July things got really bad, conversations were minimal, eating was virtually gone…why is this happening???

July 9th i was told a matter of days. NO! 17th July 12:48pm…gone! Until we meet again xxx